happy new year folks

i plan on enjoying
come what may
bring it on i say

the jinx

you know there's a jinx.... you always know... you just don think too much of it... eh so what right..... heh
never say its a good year when the year is ending.... by all means go all out on the start of the year..... just leave out the last month....
or... or suffer.... i jinxed..... oh how i jinxed.... i knew i was jinxing also... was warned..... but heck..... i feel lucky.... you know when like everything is like going awesome..... just right.... you go and say the thing you regret the most....
sigh
i can't say i didn't see it coming..... had a feeling..... you know that gloom you get..... you know something is up.... smells off.... that shadow you see....
i hereby declare my mind is my greatest enemy..... too many thoughts ..... them buggers have caught up with me again.... had lost them for a while.... now am planning my next escape..... the dots are back i see
its just a bad day..... bad bad bad day.... sigh
i aint sad..... just hysterical..... i mean whats the point right....sad eh.... too much hassle that..... laugh it off... and forget.... which too will be my doom
god is the only one in heaven cause the dude had no family...... i swear cause if he had family..... he would have sinned ...either knowingly or unknowingly..... it don matter....cause when ye gots family.... you'r fucked..... no really... either way... f u c k e d
bah humbug........
so moo and my fellow humbuggers i say salute..... to the god of fuck!
so on the count o three..... we say "oh ...."
salute!

merry christmas

ello people...
my lack of bloggin is due to work (finally i gots me a legit excuse) i be besh happy as the year winds to an end... lots o people be sad.... don lose faith..... it gets better, does life..... but most of the time it sucks..... hence you should make the most of it when there is that incy wincy bit of happiness.....
this week i took pictures.... a lot of them... like i used to.... sigh
how cool is it.... i get payed to do this shit..... as pointed out, sometimes i forget i be photographer..... i do, get carried away
but when this feeling comes back... i be all happy
christmas aint all that for me... but this year i gots people to celebrate with.. to share with.... i like that bit
i am not a gift giver ( i do give gifts...but not on occasions, more when i feel like it, but it seems this year i feel a lot lot) you always spend on yourself.... feels good to give people things....
i remember the secret santa in college..... the one who turned scrooge..... sigh good times man good times..... as the days go by it seems the past fades out.... somethings you just have to hold on to.... remember and cherish....
if it weren't for the bad times..... we'd be sick of the good times
so forget em worries on this day of celebration..... just live.... for one lousy day.... just one.... say fuck off to the people who need tellin off.... and partaaay

cheers and stay safe...... don't trust any duchebag with a santa hat....

music

damn. i could never play an instrument...... i could once tho.... nothing flashy ... i wanted the sax.... would have settled for the trumpet.... alas all instruments at the school were issued out.... i played the french horn.... aye the french friggin horn... i played in an orchestra you see.... played symphonies and ballads .... won competitions with the band..... it was 40 odd students... i remember the teacher mr. dobbeck ......could play every friggin instrument and hit every note.... pretty cool teacher he was... participated in a parade .... played a cow bell :( .... honest to god.... i was sad.... why does the indian have to play the cow bell you think.... but it beats that gay triangle thingy.
so anyways.... music has been very close to me.... can't play shit... but heck i understand it better than most people..... so boo hoo :D
i remember in college i was the music bearer... the one who brought not only new shit... but original and different shit as well.... i be one o those who'd give a lecture on being asked what my favorite genre is.. or of sorts.... i listen to different kinds of music for different.... people have been influenced.... i have been influenced.... the best thing about music is that it doesn't need language... it needs rhythm.... people say rap oh... different means rap... sup sup... kewl
its so lame.... you don even feel like defending it... its not worth it.... for people who don like rap.... its ok... don mean rap sucks tho.... lyrically they are a mine of knowledge.... besides nothing gives a better boost....
but anyways music is music... it lifts moods.... bring change and underlines issues... some just are spiritual....some happy some sad....
i was not so good mood wise.... but when are we eh.... along came a simple song.... in a foreign language.... you just vibe.... forget... suddenly it feels good. music does that for me.... this did
and i share music :)

i had kfc today...it could well have been my last kfc with all ten fingers :(
i nearly chopped off my finger today.... i mean i believe in karma and all.... but this is personal ... ever been hurt so much that the pain just goes away.....its just not there anymore....
i nearly lost apart of a finger today... still i blog.... but since i know its to get sympathy... its all worth it.... shower me with lowe :D
but really.... it hurts..... got a tetanus shot ... not good.... the dude looked at me when i flinched... i suppose he didn' expect either of two things....... the flinch....of the tattoo..... its a reaction i guess... specially when its a doctor.... just that kid across the counter.....
it throbs now.... i be on antibiotics.... fingers eh.... my life
ow...

for all those gore fans....i include the picture.... its pretty nicely concealed.... do get in-touch for more blood :D

hmm

i sang the national anthem today..... after a long long long long time, it felt good. i remember the words.... i thought i would have forgotten.... but no.... word for word i remembered. i stood still for the first time..... still as in still..... no itch to scratch.... so shifting from foot to foot..... still. i wanted to and for the first time the body didn offer any opposition. i remem in school.... the anthem going on.... we be standin in line....talkin about the match yesterday.... or the coming test.... or that girl in tution...... not this time..... this time the head went blank...... not blank blank but no irrational thoughts..... none what so ever.... just the national anthem.
its sad when i realized that for this to happen a national calamity had to take place...... i felt guilty.
a week has passed.......the bloody week before still resonates i am sure in most of out hearts. its good to see people talking about it, even if they be joking...... realization is the first step. people deal with shit their own way..... some laugh it off cause thats their coping mechanism..... some like me. i get hysterical. i ideally would not want to say i am afraid........... i am not afraid....its not fear, its concern. i feel bad for those kids who we have dubbed terrorist's . poor kids ...brain washed by extremists to fulfill the so called attacks that the extreamists themselves don do. i mean where is it written that you kill innocents to get back at people at fault. where is it written that you leave a lil kid parentless...... where is it written that murder is right.
i have many muslim friends.... and family. i have had enough conversations about islam... about many other relegions and faiths. and if you really look carefully.....its the same stories with local characters and different environmental settings....oh yes and the language is different. the moral of the stories are basically the same...... be good and good things will happen. have faith. have hope. love. be loved. its simple....... the meanings get lost in translation...... deciphered wrong and then force fed to the willfully deranged.
i am 20+, i know what we are like...... we are a lil ignorant.... a lil lost and all geared to have a go at the world. these cowards feed on the young...... its the innocence they are after. i am 24 i still don't know what to do with life.....what it has in store for me. i am a lil educated ... a lot well informed.... i can survive anywhere in the world provided there are people. the main thing is ... i know right from wrong.......i might be stupid, ignorant and crazy...... but i know what should be done and what should not be done. i suppose thats the most improtant lesson that life has to offer. and what happened was not right. what america did was not right. what we are doing is not right. what the politicians are after is not right.
we blame the media.... yes i still do. but if it were not for media.....the cries of baby moshe would not have reached so many ears. if it weren't for media..... these resignations would not have happened......
everything has good and bad in it...... we have to use it properly.
we have to develope a conscious first.
thats the first step.

i be kickedddddddddd

(victory dance)


(and again)
now now...... people i need you to do this
go to.......... make history .... search for the entries.... click people click .... with me so far?!
now search for "music is me"
that sir and mem is a picture taken by yours truly :)
vote!
obama won.....now help me! vote deen vote deen

i be super kicked......

sigh

its sad to see young people throwing away their lives in something so stupid..... i don't think its rite to loose your life for something this meaningless and devoid of principles... reason and humanity. the sad part is that this will stop but not stop will it..... its been a reality show on tv... and i admit to being hooked..... its just overwhelming..... its chaos
jagge to add a lil colour i had to divert my mind..... and i did this

back

my return was not what i had expected
my trusty computer....that withstood the 60 kmph tumble to the edge of the teesta cliff is finally showing signs of "wear and tear" (touch wood)....... she has been a true companion ...... i have treated her bad.... infact horribly come to think of it..... the 80 gb hdd still works..... but oh how i used to play catch ..... take it from comp to comp..... she was my movie theater..... my sound dock... undoubtly had the best vedio collection in college....and music too..... oh college.... i remember when she came.... all black.... sad speakers....very sad ...but then pujo was coming..... that would be taken care of.... she was the best looking and best performing for her time...... reigned the college with spunk..... oh the many time i re-installed windows on her..... 3 times a week.... 2 times a day.... she never complained.... she took it.... she knew it was good for her..... the countless viruses and worms i hand picked off of her.....just so that she'd run smoothly... for all the troubles i gave her she showed me the blue screen of death only 3 times.....
i re-installed windows today..... it was sad
soul sucking..... left me feeling drained..... unworthy and distant
the old ddr's have been replaced with a 1gig ram...... and windows will now run on a dedicated 40 gig drive.... i should have done this earlier..... she still didn complain.....
i have kept her thru my hay-days..... and i hope to keep her some more
she be my computer......my first love
i never let anyone touch her.....smooth talked her and used the utmost of delicate touch..... minus the spank here and there ....she liked it like that
did i mention i had to change the power supply..... in layman's terms paati heart transplant .....
she runs.....she'll run

she owend f-503 "hallowed be thy name"

off to orissa

i be happy :)
shout out to the bird!!

and i thought the trip might seem dull
life eh

thats one!

this life

hmm... choosing a title for a post is very unfair.... we think of starting off... do the title justice... we try to make sense of what we initially set out to write.... forget, fumble and ramble on... sigh. so where was i, ...ah yes i have started to think again... what i mean is think too much again. i woke up singin today..... literally. its the mp3 ring tones i tell ya..... keep ringin for the whole song. so i woke up singin.... kinda freaked me out when i finally figured i wasn't singin... sigh i would if i had a voice tho.... senti hoye gelam :D
winter is coming... i like winter.... i like the gloom the cold the smell of winter... i relate to it. i haven't complained about living alone for a while now. i suppose i have gotten used to it and then i remind myself i be not alone anymore.... before moo starts moo-in.... you know i didn mean it like that *mirch* *mirch*..... its just that i am distracted...in a good way. my house...i look at it now is messed up..... really really messed up. i need to fumigate it i think..... what all crap i keep. i complain about having no clothes..... but heck 3 of my 4 beds are dumped with clean/not-so-clean/definately-not-clean clothes..... not to mention the sofa's the chairs.... its like a bomb went off. i feel at home in the chaos..... i can still find things in it..... takes a lil more time but nothing goes lost.

well anyways..... i will be off to orissa soon..... so a blog sabbatical is in the cards.... it started of as a vacation i thought i'd look forward to..... i still do... lil.... i want to go and aw..... but
sigh there's always that but...... you don know what its for..... but.
life would be simpler without the buts and what if's ...... "but" if you look at it close... these words are what free and limit us..... if - i have maintained is the stronget and most powerful 2-letter word on the planet. it allows up to dream.... to think of things we wanted to do "if" shit woked out a different way....
if i win a photo contest
if i become a hot-shot photographer and bleed money
if i figure out...why oh why am i here
if i had dedication along with talent
if i had drive

but bu oh oh oh oh....the but

but there are too many contestants
but almost everyone has a camera...
but i am already here
but you don't get everything
oh-but-ter-fuck i have got drive

sigh: i hope orissa does it for me
as for the rest of you all..... sigh cheers cheers.... life man... this is life

too lil to live for.....too much to let go of.... eh chera geche sigh

sing for the moment

In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum

They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you and cock it too?
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault, and I'll get sued

That's why we sing for these kids that don't have a thing
Except for a dream and a fuckin' rap magazine
Who post pinup pictures on their walls all day long
Idolize their favorite rappers and know all their songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in they lives
So they sit and they cry at night, wishing they die
So they throw on a rap record, and they sit and they vibe
We're nothing to you, but we're the fuckin' shit in their eyes
That's why we seize the moment, and try to freeze it and own it
Squeeze it and hold it, 'cus we consider these minutes golden
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone
Just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our songs
And we can

------------------------------- 3E

mr. ghosh er bari'r pujo

my esteemed non political friend mr. angshuman ghosh..... invited me to a very indian pujo.... me being not indian.... wanted to go and get my indian on... and i went :D
these be peekchars
and i shall stick to peekchars :D

it was on like donkey kong

phew.... i thought i'd never get to use that line again.... incase i gave forgotten to mention.... this be my blog spot... mine mine mine mine mine
waaaa
debo na.... bhaaak saala :P
its my blogspot and i can write what i want to .... and you can't stop me
sticks and stones.... boo hoo
i try this.... i'll try to sum up in one one word

sad
insane
very stupid-moronic and blonde ( so i cheated.... act1. roy's blog spot : i cheat )
out-of-proportion
bawaal (full)
hypocritical
rash
.....am i really doin this :D

clap clap.... i have also veered

pictures then.... thats where its at :P
good show

hmm

yeah ...initially i didn't write anything..... but now i gots me a lil to write about...
see *respect* to obama and all.... i know the dudes the dude..... seen a lot of his campaign.. well not a lot..... but enough for an indian..... see what i don get is why some ppl one facebook and other sites are all "vote for obama"... i mean all american ppl writin, that i get..... what.. oh what excuse do you indian have to fucking write "vote for obama" when that fuck's never voted for an indian election. i mean what is all this crap man...... i honesty have not voted for any election... aye i am neglecting my citizen's duty..... but i am in my way a lil fair....see i haven't issued my voter's id card....cause even if i do..... my vote will get fixed.... and i know this for a fact.... my dad's voted 6 years in a row..... only the first year did he leave the house to vote..... the next 3 he never left the house.... still "gave" his ballot....the next 2 he's been outside india..... still voted... so i rather not register ..... one less false vote i say that ways...... but but but.... i toh have never followed politics.... a lil but not enough to choose who to vote for... i mean the decision when it comes down to it is pretty difficult..... and i know enough politics to know the democrats are not pro indians.... but like it matters..... bush fucked it for all em republicans..... but but.... if you are an indian and never voted in india and and and are concerned about the american elections..... go fuck yourself .... sideways.... you lying piece of shit no good resident indian...... i hate posers... more than politics...... keepin it real is where its at....... look for the fuck ups in your own house before you go cleaning other peoples mess...... sheesh ship these ppl out man thats all i can say.....

chalo brasil chalo

ehh

life is good.... or something like it.... never jinx something..... never.... things seems slower now... which is good ... of late things were pretty fast...woosh and all..... zip zap zoom.... you know the feelin.... i have changed by not changing so much also.... it seems confusing but i suppose thats the only way i'd be able to explain it.... although... on the fly it'd be more like...... i've been offered refuge in a sanctuary ... rather than a cage of sorts.... there are boundaries but you know them be far off to see.... and i like it in here.. a lot lot.... you know beeg outdoors.... luch foilage.... rain the works i tell you.... its good ... good! it could be better....i shit you not.... all i need is to gets me some money... sigh... i gots the time... not the money.... life is weird like that.... can't complain tho... atleast not now... :P

this is how i spend my puja's and then some more ...... life be good lil at a time