some would say i throw tantrums,
sigh who am i kidding, i do i do i do
i want i want i want

life grinds. its like two sand papers rubbing against each other. the noise you can't stand...the friction is overwhelming. the pain is bearable. the defiance is not. you complain till the point you know nothing gets through. you stop uttering the redundant lines, as if it was already not enough. if you try to move the pencil with our mind and it don work, well it don work. no matter how many minds no matter which pencil. its amazing if not hysterical. as in its past the point of cribbing, now its only regret. you have a picture in your head, but realistically it never lives up to the actual scene. disappointment i have been the one to cause generally, but when a disappointment is disappointed, heh, it is just plain sad. so i have no complains no qualms, nothing, just nothing. rhetorical questions i have had enough of. now i don't care anymore.

trapped

jai hind

for the lil ones

the un

we set out with a particular vision in our minds. all of us initially started with the save vision. as time passes by and you look behind you, beside you, the crowd seems to diminish. it is only natural. with growth, necessities change, those standing in the same queue, now move off and find lines of their liking. what started out with a crowd now is a feeble number of known individuals. its better than not having anyone behind you. but the thing you will learn is that, those who stand in the same line as yours tend to push your boundaries more and more. bend but not brake.
i don't know what to do anymore, somehow lost sight of the vision i started off with, everything is front is gray and so much noise, distortion. all there is to do is to wait for the dust to clear, that is if it clears. there is no way of knowing what will happen, and how it will happen. tolerance is at an all time low. the times demands it. wasting time in this era is frowned upon.
its
uninitiated
unnerving
unfair
unnecessary


track of the ah fuck it, play this : i have a dream

water

water they say is the best cure. drink lots of it. it takes care of the system for you. keepin it real....keepin it clean. that was when water was pure.
purity, is a concept long gone. a filthy race. gluttony sloth pride greed, heh lust oh damn lust, envy for the most parts and wrath really dosen't matter if you are involved or not, its a participation thing. attendance compulsory, participation must. willing-ness is a non issue. its in the contract. fine print, invariably int he lines we choose to skip.
i haven't spun like this in a while. all this after about 6 liters of filtered filth ridden waters. oh what goes into the rivers and streams. so while i sit here head heavy without thought and feeling, i try to compute if the water will eventually clear the system which i believe i have a mission to destroy.
pandemic is when it happens all over the world, and believe you me h1n1 is the least of your worries. we all fall sick. i generally have been able to cope with it. but this i think is the new shit kicking in, we evolve, we all evolve. its not hit me yet, but its only a matter of time, only that day i felt a tremor, oh how i wish there were ghosts.

erosion

a new building goes up. loads of work, lots of confusion. life goes on. the new building gets its first rain. the sun belts down on it. the people that admired it at first, get used to the colossal structure. they too come to terms with its existence. spits and garbage everywhere. its taken for granted, its there, not going anywhere. the years pass on. the foundations weaken. erosion from all directions. then an earthquake comes. the building is no more. people remind themselves of the fading silhouette. fading none the less.
life goes on. the sky-scape changes. life goes on.
if building could walk.
i'd go up to the oldest one of the lot, sit on the steps. ask how the landscape changed. smell the musky dampness. fill the lungs with asbestos. search for the cobwebs. open drawers that haven't been opened in ages, then smelling the fingers, that rusty smell.
the problem is, people forget. a new shiny ball is not so new and shiny as time passes. its not just me. its us. same shit different asshole.
its not good that this year is full of shit and assholes.