Saturday, March 31, 2007

the teeth, the sorrow and the trip.......

saturday was eventful......see my uncle has reacently bought a camera beyond all camera's.......a sexy s9500..... i just had to "borrow" it....... morally it was wrong cause the dude himself hadn't taken a single picture......but what the hell......i scampered to bhowanipur with angshuman........the thing i didn't want to remember was that i had to face a family......a poor family.....in that "para" in which a sad demise had taken place.......this family were quite close to ours back in the days.....one of the daughter's was my nanny o sorts and still loves me like a brother..........their house once a upona time had two shacks enough to provide a roof over the members.....nut the latter shack was demolised to make room for a school.......so these pp;.....2 brothers 4sisters...a father and the mother live in one room....one room half the size of my kitchen........sadly the fater had passed away......i knew he was sick but never got around callin...... guilt led me it the half a meter wide wet and filthy alley.....as i entered the door i never expected what was goin to happen.......one look at me and all o em started cryin.....i stood in the middle o the room tryin to console ppl how had lost all their means of livlihood....these ppl were not like us.....me.......so i stood shocked and mum........for the first time in my life i was outta words......i hugged one......held another while try into calm the mother.......huh like that'd help.......so i stood there...........all the time thaking mom for callin before hand and comforting them, cause i was really not helpin....... or contributin..........the tears dried off.........but the sadness never lifted......i couldn't take it any more.......what reply do yu have to 3 women cryin " aamader aar keu roilona" which was wrong. .....but i just couldn't correct them........ i told them to call me if they need any thing of if they wanted to speak to mom.........and asssured that i'd call and keep in touch........which i don think i do..........as i left the sadness someone said thanks for comin.....i didn't look back.....that single sentence kinda filled mi eyes...... i walked straight to our house.....picked the camera up and returned home...........talked to angshuman for a while before he left.


i had huge plans......the camera...me......but they all kinda faded as i had the house to myself........see i have been told that i was one of those babies who's feet never touched the ground.......i was born in a joint family........eldest of the generation......so i was showered with affection.....going from ones arms to another......they too were a part of my childhood.......the only part significant enough to remember............i did what i always do when depressed........sleep.....but that to eluded me......i moaped around the house aimlessly................it was 5:30 by then.....i switched on the tv to watch arsenal clobber liverpool.......but alas bad days are know for bad things....... aresenal got their behinds whopped by liverpool ...4 to 1.......and that one goal comin f the stomach of the arsenal "center back".....dejectected and hurt i decided enough was enough.... i had to get all of this out......too much sadness for one day...............i called up the oldest friend i have and asked him to get ready and no questions........ my grandma had forgotten her "teeth" at bhowanipur so i had to return em aal the way over in golf green.......
i reached yud's house and told im we'r goin a trip....his sista also came along.....our primary objective was to deliver the teeth first and scower the streets of calcutta takin picture of the memorial...the bridge..........
we dropped off the teeth and zoomed towards maidan........when reachin the "probable" location of the memorial we didn't see any thing....confused we circled and circled.... then....dish pointed out that the memorial "was" there but no lights..........we jointly cursed the electricity board then decided that the government was to blame.....so we parked across saeed minar.....and clicked.......then the lic buildin....the where abouts at quater to 11 aren't that good!!!! dark......spooky...and streets filled with strangely disguised folks starin at a trio .....two guys with half pants on, one carryin the tripod in various postion and the gurl......the gurl........that was the look i was afraid of......then through the mist i could smell a very very known aroma.........the burnin of a certain leaf........so as they say......When in Rome, do as the Romans, i took out a pack not just any pack...a pack of tampered special "extra smooth".....and joined in the local past time......just to let em know "we come in peace".......we walked thru dark tram parks?! gigglin and jompin around.........(which does draw attention).....so we stopped.........and decided it was gettin to late for strolls.........so we clicked afew more ang triedto find my car..........we hopped on and zoomed towars home............at a maximum speed of 124.6 kmph......yudh was givin me the looks......i slowed down......bu then he started to doze off....he he........like takin candy from a baby...........just then the niccopark flyover came.......he he.......i hit the pedal to the metal and unwillgingly drifted te entire flyover.....alll the time lookin ats yudhs wide eyed expression and laughin my ass




off.......what scared me was that dish was gleefully smilin....hmmmmmm anyways i dropped em of around 11:30.......


on the way home i realized i had no ciggy's...and at this time o nite there' only one place where you can get cigs....... i went to city center....asked for a pack o navy cut.....no navy cut they said.......i was heart broken......in fact no cheap ciggys.......i settled for an overpriced 555 and came back home.......parked the car and took a pic of my street.......saw peerin ppl lookin at a half pant clad guy in the middle of the street with camera and tripod......the whole deal and a thums up in hand lookin into an empty street.......winds carried the neighbours voices....."maajh raate e ki kore aabar"......"chele ta ki out"......"ki ckorche"







......got home watched the barcelona match........finally one team i like won......that was enough of one day i thought and tickled my cat to sleep.....and then miself zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Friday, March 30, 2007

i love cleaning......


as i ventured into unknow and darkness of the alcoves neatly located at every nook and corner of the house....hands dirty and covered with what i thought was lint and dust........thru one particular alcove i could see some thing from my past....the penguin of my past......my favourite penguin......i had found my favourite glass . the memories flushed thru my head.......but i was to stoned to pay heed to it.....i hugged it.....cleaned it and then took this picture to show you folks......and filled it with not beer.....but.....ice cold....frosty thumbs up...............................aahhhhhhhhhh the glory i felt, it was as i found my lost brother......wait i already have a brother.....(damn good stuff....weeee)....anyways....... i found so many cool stuff.....and discovered that my mom has enough porceline to accomodate my and the cia's friend lists.....yesssh
i'll write about the entire process and the outcome soon so stay tuned and peace out!!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

if i ruled the world.................


if i ruled the world......man what a fantasy......no limits...no one to say no......there's no wrong no right........no poor no rich....no colour or creed....just people on a planet full of grace and harmony.....heh what a world..... one can experience this nirvana but for a mere lapse or ...sence...a trip may be, with bright colours and clear speech....unusually coming at you so slow...as if the words themselves circle in a helix around the head.... a moment in which we are weight less....sin free and pure...... but only for a while......god says good things never lasts forver.......the good times always are in the past...a hazy un certain future.....i ask why......why us.....(why me)....... but then rebellion is the only option......so i rebel along with others.....for the system which ought to inspire us.....encourage us.... we need to reach out. i guess theres only one plague in this world........choice.......its so difficult and we are helpless before it.......the only cure would be if we could directly see the vision of each decision we make.....every turn we take.....every lie we tell........heh.....its feels nice to reach out.....i dare say with the advancement in technology.....such miracles may be possible......but there again god interferes..........our generation will pass by then..........but to tell you the truth i kinda like not knowing......knowing means caring......caring means commitments.. .....commitments for us to dissapoint........atleast we will feel things we'd miss out on.... and somehow it feels better to fall and then get up rather than not falling at all.... to which i introduce another one of my favourites.............




If I Ruled The World"
(feat. Lauryn Hill)

[Intro: Nas (Lauryn Hill singing in the background)]

Life..... I wonder....
Will it take me under.... I don't know

[Verse One: Nas]

Imagine smoking weed in the streets without cops harassin
Imagine going to court with no trial
Lifestyle cruising blue behind my waters
No welfare supporters more conscious of the way we raise our daughters
Days are shorter, nights are colder
Feeling like life is over, these snakes strike like a cobra
The world's hot my son got not evidently
It's elementary, they want us all gone eventually
Trooping out of state for a plate knowledge
of coke was cooked without the garbage we'd all have the top dollars
Imagine everybody flashin, fashion
Designer clothes, lacing your click up with diamond vogues
Your people holdin dough, no parole
No rubbers, go in raw imagine law with no undercovers
Just some thoughts for the mind
I take a glimpse into time
watch the blimp read "The World Is Mine"

[Chorus: Lauryn Hill, Nas]

If I ruled the world
Imagine that
I'd free all my sons, I love em love em baby
Black diamonds and pearls
Could it be, if you could
be mine, we'd both shine
If I ruled the world
Still livin for today, in
these last days and times

[Verse Two: Nas]

The way to be, paradise like relaxin black, latino and anglo-saxon
Armani exchange the reins
Cash, Lost Tribe of Shabazz, free at last
Brand new whips to crash then we laugh in the iller path
The Villa house is for the crew, how we do
Trees for breakfast, dime sexes and Benz stretches
So many years of depression make me vision
The better livin, type of place to raise kids in
Open they eyes to the lies history's told foul
But I'm as wise as the old owl, plus the Gold Child
Seeing things like I was controlling, click rollin
Trickin six digits on kicks and still holdin
Trips to Paris, I civilized every savage
Gimme one shot I turn trife life to lavish
Political prisonner set free, stress free
No work release purple M3's and jet skis
Feel the wind breeze in West Indies
I make Coretta Scott-King mayor the cities and reverse themes to Willies
It sounds foul but every girl I meet to go downtown
I'd open every cell in Attica send em to Africa

[Chorus: Lauryn Hill, Nas]

If I ruled the world
Imagine that
I'd free all my sons, I love em love em baby
Black diamonds and pearls
Could it be, if you could
be mine, we'd both shine
If I ruled the world
Still livin for today, in
these last days and times

And then we'll walk right up to the sun
Hand in hand
We'll walk right up to the sun
We won't land
We'll walk right up to the sun
Hand in hand
We'll walk right up to the sun
We won't land

[Verse Three: Nas]

You'd love to hear the story how the thugs live in worry
Duck down in car seats, heat's mandatory
Runnin from Jake, gettin chased, hunger for papes
These are the breaks many mistakes go down out of state
Wait, I had to let it marinate we carry weight
Tryin to get laced, flip the ace stack the safe
Millionaire plan to keep the gat with the cop camera
Makin moves in Atlanta, back and forth scrambler
Cause you could have all the chips, be poor or rich
Still nobody want a nigga havin shit
If I ruled the world and everything in it, sky's the limit
I push a Q-45 Infinit
It wouldn't be no such thing as jealousies or B Felonies
Strictly living longevity to the destiny
I thought I'd never see but reality struck
Better find out before your time's out, what the fuck??

[Chorus: Lauryn Hill, Nas]

If I ruled the world
Imagine that
I'd free all my sons, I love em em baby
Black diamonds and pearls
Could it be, if you could
be mine, we'd both shine
If I ruled the world
Still livin for today, in
these last days and times

If I ruled the world, if I ruled, if I ruled
Imagine that
I'd free all my sons, if I ruled, if I ruled
I love em love em baby
Black diamonds and pearls, black dimaonds
Could it be, if you could
black diamonds
be mine, we'd both shine
If I ruled the world
Still livin for today, in
these last days and times

If I ruled the world, if I ruled
if I ruled, I'd free all my sons
black diamonds, I love em love em baby
Black diamonds and pearls, if I ruled
If I ruled the world

If I ruled the world
I love em love em baby!!



Tuesday, March 27, 2007

songs i listend to today..........i fealt every word of them



F-Stop Blues------Jack Johnson


Hermit crabs and cowry shells,
Crush beneath his feet as he comes towards you, He's waving at you.
Lift him up to see what you can see,
He begins his focusing, He's aiming at you.
And now he has cutaways from memories
And close-ups of anything that,
He has seen or even dreamed,
And now he's finished focusing.
He's imagining lightning, Striking sea sickness, Away from here.
Look who's laughing now that you've wasted,
How many years and you've barely even tasted,
Anything remotely close to,
Everything you've boasted about,
Look who's crying now.

Driftwood floats, after years of erosion,
Incoming tide touches roots to expose them,
Quicksand steals my shoe,
Clouds bring the f-stop blues.
Look who's laughing now that you've wasted,
How many years and you've barely even tasted,
Anything remotely close to,
Everything you've boasted about,
Look who's crying now.


















Mr. Jones....counting crows
Music By: Dave Bryson, Marty Jones, Toby Hawkins, Lydia Holly & Adam Duritz

I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-haired flamenco dancer
She dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
We all want something beautiful
I wish I was beautiful
So come dance this silence down through the morning
Cut up Maria!
Show me some of them Spanish dances
Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones
Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
I want to be someone who believes Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me."
Smiling in the bright lights
Coming through in stereo
When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely

I will paint my picture
Paint myself in blue and red and black and gray
All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful
Gray is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a gray guitar and play

Mr. Jones and me look into the future
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you.
Uh, I don't think so. She's looking at me."
Standing in the spotlight
I bought myself a gray guitar
When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely

I want to be a lion
Everybody wants to pass as cats
We all want to be big big stars, but we got different reasons for that
Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe

Mr. Jones and me stumbling through the barrio
Yeah we stare at the beautiful women
"She's perfect for you, Man, there's got to be somebody for me."
I want to be Bob Dylan
Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky
When everybody loves you, son, that's just about as funky as you can be

Mr. Jones and me staring at the video
When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me
We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why and we don't know how
But when everybody loves me, I'm going to be just about as happy as can be
Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars....


big stars.........remember mr jones

log entry......003


well yersterday i saw a movie.....called layer cake.......pretty goo i must say......but hten when the last scene had finally concluded........i sat still for a while......to absorb the details of the movie......to grasp its significance.........i pondered and pondered till it srtuck me..........life's gonna get us no matter what we do........no matter how intricate the plan is........you train yourself to be the best in the world.....impossible to defeat.....an epitome...a creature of wealth, knowledge, coupla stamina sticks (pre rolled by someone else to perfection) in the coat pocket, unlimited supply to glenfeddich........the whole deal.....and the next day *poof* something happens..... you get hit by a car, lightning strikes you dead, you friggin slip on a banana peel and *splat*..........face hits ground....neck cracks.....and your dead......damn i have been watchin too muh o csi.......anyways... the matter of discreet importance is ....... we'r fucked!


bah humbug............we all know that so whats new........ to the people who havent come to my casa in a while.....you'll be pleased to know it is under heavy re-constructive ......surgery..per say
it will be a beacon of my life when its done........(there's just so much junk)......well any way i have started to re-decorate......to which i go back to now.......but till then....peace out!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

log entry......002


hmm........what did i do today.....boy oh boy....not much....saw a coupla movies.......and saw bangladesh crush india's last hopes........and did somting that i hadn'd done in a while..... i rang the bell to my house.........yeah....sounds silly...........more insane when no one but you lives there.....
i can't remember the last time i did actually ring the bell......i was distraught and aware of this seemingly harmless anomoly..........then it sank in.....was i lonely??? was i.....i mean i could be......nah......meeee........ well this was ,to be accurate, 10 secs of my entire day......see i am what i would like to call an eternal optimist......the always was and always will be kind......the kind which knows life is goin no where........but oh hell.......lets have a lil fun while we'r at it..........some people say this life leads no where.........but what if it does.......you at this stage will begin to understand that i have the gift of the gab....and srtangely enough......i can and have mixed with every kind of person possible.......when i say person i mean character.....life has shown me lots.........loud mouth some say......to which i point out.......why you readin it then punk??!!
well anyways comin back to the topic from which i will occasionally deviate.....which was the ringing of the bell....the habit had tagged long after my family left....i dunno why.....but i guess i always expected someone to come home to.......or now...something.......hey i know..it has its pro's and con's......wel more pro's actually.......but hey i miss em.......miss mom.....miss the pain in the ass lil brother.......and missed dad......which i though i'd never have a problem with.......but hey.....everyone misses people....thats why we strive for them and look forward to meet them.
well i so confidently ruled out, reason being that my grandma's in town and she had been livin with me....so as to keep an eye on me.........hence i deduced that i didn't ring the bell because of anyother reason other than the expectation of granny to answer the door........but still i did ring the bell fully aware no one was in the house....and the best part was that i had the bleedin key's in my hand........so....was it momentary lapse in concentration.....or something else........... i am a firm believer of reason........of science and facts..........people who know me will acknowledge the fact that i shall prove or disprove almost every and anything.........at certain points of time where the confusions all go away and when the light is clear...................but one thing i'll tell you about me..........i am lost.....well pretty much lost.......i know my way back.....but don wanna go back........... well this is al i have for now.......till next time........bugger off!!1

log entry......001



















I am writing a blog.....again.....for the 5th time........ the question lies....will i continue..... will i remember the user-name and password this time.......well i have help this time...i have book marked the bloody page....saved the bloody password........ so the only thing i guess i'll have to do is actually type jibberish...........for all of you to read...........the requests have been flattering....the standards were higher from the first time this thing started......but i have a load o shit that is so limit less.......so refined.......so fresh...that i hope you'll be beggin for more...............