hmm

i sang the national anthem today..... after a long long long long time, it felt good. i remember the words.... i thought i would have forgotten.... but no.... word for word i remembered. i stood still for the first time..... still as in still..... no itch to scratch.... so shifting from foot to foot..... still. i wanted to and for the first time the body didn offer any opposition. i remem in school.... the anthem going on.... we be standin in line....talkin about the match yesterday.... or the coming test.... or that girl in tution...... not this time..... this time the head went blank...... not blank blank but no irrational thoughts..... none what so ever.... just the national anthem.
its sad when i realized that for this to happen a national calamity had to take place...... i felt guilty.
a week has passed.......the bloody week before still resonates i am sure in most of out hearts. its good to see people talking about it, even if they be joking...... realization is the first step. people deal with shit their own way..... some laugh it off cause thats their coping mechanism..... some like me. i get hysterical. i ideally would not want to say i am afraid........... i am not afraid....its not fear, its concern. i feel bad for those kids who we have dubbed terrorist's . poor kids ...brain washed by extremists to fulfill the so called attacks that the extreamists themselves don do. i mean where is it written that you kill innocents to get back at people at fault. where is it written that you leave a lil kid parentless...... where is it written that murder is right.
i have many muslim friends.... and family. i have had enough conversations about islam... about many other relegions and faiths. and if you really look carefully.....its the same stories with local characters and different environmental settings....oh yes and the language is different. the moral of the stories are basically the same...... be good and good things will happen. have faith. have hope. love. be loved. its simple....... the meanings get lost in translation...... deciphered wrong and then force fed to the willfully deranged.
i am 20+, i know what we are like...... we are a lil ignorant.... a lil lost and all geared to have a go at the world. these cowards feed on the young...... its the innocence they are after. i am 24 i still don't know what to do with life.....what it has in store for me. i am a lil educated ... a lot well informed.... i can survive anywhere in the world provided there are people. the main thing is ... i know right from wrong.......i might be stupid, ignorant and crazy...... but i know what should be done and what should not be done. i suppose thats the most improtant lesson that life has to offer. and what happened was not right. what america did was not right. what we are doing is not right. what the politicians are after is not right.
we blame the media.... yes i still do. but if it were not for media.....the cries of baby moshe would not have reached so many ears. if it weren't for media..... these resignations would not have happened......
everything has good and bad in it...... we have to use it properly.
we have to develope a conscious first.
thats the first step.