june

what a month.....
what a month.... at times like this you know god is the nerdy kid with the magnifying glass taking his anger out on a selected few ants..... god, heh.
what if one day this duche walks up and says..... dude, i be god. i know what i have done to you, but you must understand tough love.... i will stop him there..... will say.. hey man.. no worries... you gotta do what you gotta do.... pat him 2ice... hi5 him, and just as he turns around to walk off..... pounce on that mother and give him the beating of a life time. saala. tough love. i'd like to smack that god till his teeth fall out. they say hesus died for our sins..... heh, guess who is in payback mode.
i loom over my grandma at night. just to make sure she is still breathing..... its not helpful when sometimes she gets up and finds me in the darkness... my nose against the moshari..... i scare her hehe. she thinks i am mad, i know she is mad. what an equation. its come to the point where everything is in a loop, and you don't know if you are caught in it, or if you started it.... bottom line you are in it.
the future seems dark..... gloomy you know. i generally could figure out where my ship is headed..... i lost bearings a while ago.... then came the storm, then another, then the sun belted down with all its fury..... now the clouds are playing aankho me choli..... now you see me now you don't.....
i read somewhere that there was this famous architect who was designing a library.... he wanted to make it the best ever...... he pondered over it day and night.... months on end.... didn;t stop to eat till he got that exact image in his head on paper..... long last his creation came to life.... it was magnificent.... people were all like....wow, what a piece of work..... clap clap....pat pat
the next day the building collapsed...... the smarty archie didn't take into account the weight of the books..... and all the kings men couldn't put it 2gtrh again. sigh.
we build ourselves to withstand everything..... well almost everything.... there are so many things we can't account for..... so many outta the blue, where did that come from - things.....things can't get possibly worse...but they do - things, where the what the - things, just things is general. too many to deal with.

A squirrel in the tree is he watching me
Does he give a damn?
Does he care who I am?
I'm just a man, is that all I am
Are my manners misinterpreted words or only human?
I'm human

Murderous crow, hey what you know
What you reading about, what you hold in your toes
Is that a twig, are you a dove of peace
A black dove undercover, with another puzzle piece
Are you a riddle to solve all along?
Or am I over thinking thoughts of human after all

Only human
Made of flesh, made of sand, made of you and me
The planet's talking about a revolution
The natural laws ain't got no constitution
They've got a right to live their own life
But we keep paving over paradise.

paradise is lost, unattainable, a dream, an escape, an hour, a min, one bloody second. where are we.....what are we supposed to do.....and why oh why.
sigh.
lost i am, and getting used to it.