coo coo ka chu

have a nice life, and move on. sometimes its easier to run away than to stick it through. you stick it through, always wondering what it would have been like if you escaped. after a while things don't get to you anymore. you have heard everything there is to hear, said everything there is to be said, seen everything you can possibly see and then there are things that you dont need to see to acknowledge their existence. questions and only question hover, not a single answer in sight. implications and consequences cloud every act, every step. we strive to find difference, uniqueness..... sometimes we get more than we can chew, what do you do, spit it out, gulp some water...... choke!?
what do you do when you know that every step you take/have taken in life is a wrong one. all you do is take wrong turns, not even cyclic redundancy, just the usual long lateral fuck.
i dunno what i am ranting about, but i know this, you get out of the ditch, fucking fall back into it, get out of it, fall back.......... when is it enough. what do you do when you are not used to it. people don't understand you, they don't want to, but they try and fuck it up all the more. thats what we humans do, give ourselves, even if we are absolutely unwanted, undesired, and unimportant. this whole life is spinning outta control. happy thoughts are like spotting shooting stars on a cloudy night. no matter how hard you try, there still the friggin clouds........ that shroud of darkness.
i have had it. but i can't stop it. i dunno if i should laugh or cry.
mother nature us also out to dab salt into gaping wounds, the sweaty kind.
i know the biggest mistakes in my life, i keep playing them in slow motion in my head, frame by frame..... sec by sec.....its haunting.
i stop and ask what is happening, people have so many versions of it, not one can you relate to. not one actually offers any solution. but wait. there is no solution. heh.
the bright side eh, look look, thats a train.... you are in a tunnel and its heading your way. coo coo ka chu.
dad had said the easiest way to make money its to become an engineer. i should have kept my head down, i should have followed, there is a reason dreams are dreams. i should have kept in line, just like everybody else, nothing is against the system.... the system is all. even neo dies in matrix. i should have been a drone. a fucking drone. coo coo ka chu.


post distress post : like a mini wtf was what that rant about

fuck the drone
i want the throne

coo coo ka-faqin-chu : live life dont let it live you. power to the people \m/