so here goes

last year was bad, bad bad bad bad bad. it ended on the right tone.
but this year i have a lil animosity towards certain things. one thing that drives me up the wall are reviews. i mean, 5 years ago, they were like insight into the film. now a days they dissect every tini winy lil detail, twist it to their own interpretation and try to force feed it down viewers throats. i don't once remem going to see a movie after checking out the review. whats the point. that review is someone point of view, that someone's job. he or she see's all the movies and then gives critique. i'd follow that critique if i too watched all the flicks. but i don't, i follow what i want to see. and another thing i don't get, from lil we are told how to live, what to do, what not to and what to re-do. i mean our whole life has been constantly critiqued and reviewed by loved ones. i grew up listing to everything, but figuring them out myself. i mean, i remem dad said " steak, ewwwww, its uncooked and lil blood, ewww" , so i didn order it when i went out with em. but does that mean i never had steak. i love steak. the tender meat, the lil redness. i get dad didn like it, but there is no certainty i will loath the item in question with ferocity.
life is just that. everyone knows whats going to happen eventually. its making them happen on your own terms, thats why we do the things we do.
movies were fun once upon a time. now they are more of a test of compatibility. rocket singh left a scar, 3 idiots am scared to watch. sherlock has been getting bad reviews. tis a guy richie movie. it can't be that bad. if shah rukh khan can can get away with playing a fuck all ashoka, which is more a sentimating-musical than an actual account of history. then robert downy junior and mr.law can get their bromance on if they want to. its such a prejudiced generation we deal with. everything has to made according to their specification. cinema bananor khomota nei, ninde korte shomaye noshto korbe na.

fundamentally, i am a piscean. dream all day. so movies for me, are like a can of worms to a fish. they allow me to expand my realm of possibilities and theories. i have seen shit all movies, still taken something back from them. hindi in fact. and bengali, the current ones are not that bad either. i like to see what could happen, even if it shit all. the whole plausibility is not the factor, has never been, as long as things happen, they happen.
i have become apprehensive about what i say these days, started off at the movies, and i brought it home. i don't like this feeling. i don't like checking everything i say before i say it. things that were a past time have become a mine field. one wrong step and kaboom.
i missed the times of no limitations. ei cho cinema jabi, cho cho. ki cinema, dekha jabe. then while coming out, e maa ki jaali cinema. i remem seeing back to back movies. the first more horrific than the last. but i still did it. now i think downloading them and seeing them in the comfort of your own home is the best option. no telephones ringin, other than yours. if that happens, you can atleast pause the bloody thing. you don't have to share your thoughts with other people. you don't get to over hear over committed phrases.

and i hate people who shoot down ideas, its like, " hey how about....." "no". i mean what the fuck. listen toh. and the funny thing is, its them who ask you the questions. absolutely hate it.
i have learnt one thing, when subjected to adverse conditions, the subject in question has two very clear options, erode slowly till the water finally settles on its path, or just wash away with the water. the problem comes when the rock is big.

i wish i could turn back time, and stay in college for ever. i meant something there. i felt as if i belonged. things were simpler. way way more simpler. expectations were at an all time low.

i am afraid i am becoming a push over. and thats like calling me anorexic.