face book

well it does suck. but eh. gives people some kind of social life. i like to interact with people. face to face.
i was about to update my status with this.

i now know why i don't remem any of my birthday. half of the time it was either exam time or result time. sigh. i felt that again today


but i felt like writing more. i was about to continue. then stopped.
i had this feeling of deja vu. been there. done that.
i miss blogging. i do.

there are things that blogging does that facebook can't do
here i don't care who reads me.
there, there are a shit loads of people i don't want reading shit i spit out.
sigh.
for the record. stating that there is a problem, doesn't really help with the solution. either give a constructive criticism, or stand in line with all those who have issues with me. there is a waiting list. a lot of redundancy. of both people and issues.

i don't know why i don't like this time of the year. i have seen so many enjoy their time. i suppose the time for celebrating the coming of the new year replaces itself with the thought of another year gone by. i would say wooooooooosh, in warp like speed. but with every minute spent alone, thinking about consequence and effect, everything in suspended animation. the one you can freeze frame, walk about and see yourself fucking it up it all possible angles.

all of this is a test. the results of which we will never get to see.

getting a tattoo

getting a tattoo is not just choosing a design. its not how much its gonna hurt. how much its going to cost. the main aspect of a tattoo is what people look over. just plain skip. i have learnt it the hard way.
a tattoo is a bond, dosen't have to me a emotional bond, but a strong strong bond. as in, its a piece of art that is going to stay with you your entire life. so when you are trying to bargain off the what you think is the extra cash, you are indeed pissing off the artist. i take picture. and lemme explain. if a client is paying me lesser than what i would normally make, and is expecting the world from me. i have to try to explain to them ki tis just not done. to produce an original piece of magic, it takes more thatn money. you need to be inspired. i have 5 tattoo's now. i was only impressed by the first. the second, i regretted, spurt of the moment, this looks cool wannabe sigh, the 3rd well that had some elements going, not impressive, but not bad as well, the 4th, well that was lil one has meaning. and since i drew the X, i take the credit. but this last one. it makes all the 4 worth their while. i mean finally i have a piece of art, which i can cherish.
you need to trust the artist, be sure of his/her skill. and that goes 2ways. i mean i get why people get butterflies and crosses. but when you find that one thing, that one all inspiring thing that you want on you, for the rest of your life. and want it done good. lemme know, and i shall point the way. am boy, do i bet you you'll come out all smiley. this is not a promotional text for white star tattoo's. but i have been moved. and well, you all lazy buggers wanna move, holler!
this is art man art
peace out

the truth

have you ever been scared of anger?! of your own anger. when you have seen yourself in full swing, your conscience in the passenger side as rage takes over. its like a movie. there i go using movies again. movies and tv are like my books and bible. so if you insult the idiot box and the silver screen. i take it personally. both of those combined have taught me things i'll never get from any teacher,book,manual etc.
movies,tv and music are my vices. keeps me sane amongst all this chaos.
i don't get angry anymore, very rarely. very. this is not a good thing. anger in a constant flow is healthy. if your stay consistent it hardly matter.
again a movie quote-ish i will give here, there are 2 types of people in the world. implosive and explosive. lets take the metro system is question. the rude passengers hurling abuses at the ticket man to give their tickets faster are implosive. the poor ticket man, who takes this shit, day after day after day..... and suddenly one day comes to work with a sub machine gun, and well. say hello to his lil friend. that is a ka-boom.
i am scared of a ka-boom. i have seen myself go ka-boom, and it ain't pretty. i have know to pick people up and brush them aside. literally. sorry moo for that calendar outburst. i think i am self destructive also. try to say stuff using the wrong words.
people sometimes wonder why on earth i am stuck in calcutta while my parent be in chicago. sometimes i wonder myself. is it something i want to prove. it is because i am sick of all the moving. or is it because i am lazy, content, indifferent. i don't know. all i know is i want to stay here. once i had a dream. a stable nice warm dream. where money was not in the equation, time was all i had, always and forever. it wasn't hard to clearly distinguish between the fiction and the non-fiction. but in the moment. you know.staying where i belonged. doing what i was born to do. merrily merrily merrily merrily, life's but a dream.
its easy to find your way when you took a wrong turn 5 mins ago, what do you do when the first wrong turn was 5years a ago, and ever since, one wrong turn after the other. its too late to turn back. i suppose i am not the kind of person who turns back also. call it ego, call it carmen sandiego. really don't matter.
chocolate cake and kosha mangsho i can cook. i suppose thats all that matters. a full stomach, and an empty head. but just my luck being stuck with a full head and an empty stomach. by choice and not compulsion. mostly out of worry and utter internal devastation.

happy new year