Sunday, January 24, 2010

getting a tattoo

getting a tattoo is not just choosing a design. its not how much its gonna hurt. how much its going to cost. the main aspect of a tattoo is what people look over. just plain skip. i have learnt it the hard way.
a tattoo is a bond, dosen't have to me a emotional bond, but a strong strong bond. as in, its a piece of art that is going to stay with you your entire life. so when you are trying to bargain off the what you think is the extra cash, you are indeed pissing off the artist. i take picture. and lemme explain. if a client is paying me lesser than what i would normally make, and is expecting the world from me. i have to try to explain to them ki tis just not done. to produce an original piece of magic, it takes more thatn money. you need to be inspired. i have 5 tattoo's now. i was only impressed by the first. the second, i regretted, spurt of the moment, this looks cool wannabe sigh, the 3rd well that had some elements going, not impressive, but not bad as well, the 4th, well that was lil one has meaning. and since i drew the X, i take the credit. but this last one. it makes all the 4 worth their while. i mean finally i have a piece of art, which i can cherish.
you need to trust the artist, be sure of his/her skill. and that goes 2ways. i mean i get why people get butterflies and crosses. but when you find that one thing, that one all inspiring thing that you want on you, for the rest of your life. and want it done good. lemme know, and i shall point the way. am boy, do i bet you you'll come out all smiley. this is not a promotional text for white star tattoo's. but i have been moved. and well, you all lazy buggers wanna move, holler!
this is art man art
peace out

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

the truth

have you ever been scared of anger?! of your own anger. when you have seen yourself in full swing, your conscience in the passenger side as rage takes over. its like a movie. there i go using movies again. movies and tv are like my books and bible. so if you insult the idiot box and the silver screen. i take it personally. both of those combined have taught me things i'll never get from any teacher,book,manual etc.
movies,tv and music are my vices. keeps me sane amongst all this chaos.
i don't get angry anymore, very rarely. very. this is not a good thing. anger in a constant flow is healthy. if your stay consistent it hardly matter.
again a movie quote-ish i will give here, there are 2 types of people in the world. implosive and explosive. lets take the metro system is question. the rude passengers hurling abuses at the ticket man to give their tickets faster are implosive. the poor ticket man, who takes this shit, day after day after day..... and suddenly one day comes to work with a sub machine gun, and well. say hello to his lil friend. that is a ka-boom.
i am scared of a ka-boom. i have seen myself go ka-boom, and it ain't pretty. i have know to pick people up and brush them aside. literally. sorry moo for that calendar outburst. i think i am self destructive also. try to say stuff using the wrong words.
people sometimes wonder why on earth i am stuck in calcutta while my parent be in chicago. sometimes i wonder myself. is it something i want to prove. it is because i am sick of all the moving. or is it because i am lazy, content, indifferent. i don't know. all i know is i want to stay here. once i had a dream. a stable nice warm dream. where money was not in the equation, time was all i had, always and forever. it wasn't hard to clearly distinguish between the fiction and the non-fiction. but in the moment. you know.staying where i belonged. doing what i was born to do. merrily merrily merrily merrily, life's but a dream.
its easy to find your way when you took a wrong turn 5 mins ago, what do you do when the first wrong turn was 5years a ago, and ever since, one wrong turn after the other. its too late to turn back. i suppose i am not the kind of person who turns back also. call it ego, call it carmen sandiego. really don't matter.
chocolate cake and kosha mangsho i can cook. i suppose thats all that matters. a full stomach, and an empty head. but just my luck being stuck with a full head and an empty stomach. by choice and not compulsion. mostly out of worry and utter internal devastation.

happy new year

Monday, January 11, 2010

so here goes

last year was bad, bad bad bad bad bad. it ended on the right tone.
but this year i have a lil animosity towards certain things. one thing that drives me up the wall are reviews. i mean, 5 years ago, they were like insight into the film. now a days they dissect every tini winy lil detail, twist it to their own interpretation and try to force feed it down viewers throats. i don't once remem going to see a movie after checking out the review. whats the point. that review is someone point of view, that someone's job. he or she see's all the movies and then gives critique. i'd follow that critique if i too watched all the flicks. but i don't, i follow what i want to see. and another thing i don't get, from lil we are told how to live, what to do, what not to and what to re-do. i mean our whole life has been constantly critiqued and reviewed by loved ones. i grew up listing to everything, but figuring them out myself. i mean, i remem dad said " steak, ewwwww, its uncooked and lil blood, ewww" , so i didn order it when i went out with em. but does that mean i never had steak. i love steak. the tender meat, the lil redness. i get dad didn like it, but there is no certainty i will loath the item in question with ferocity.
life is just that. everyone knows whats going to happen eventually. its making them happen on your own terms, thats why we do the things we do.
movies were fun once upon a time. now they are more of a test of compatibility. rocket singh left a scar, 3 idiots am scared to watch. sherlock has been getting bad reviews. tis a guy richie movie. it can't be that bad. if shah rukh khan can can get away with playing a fuck all ashoka, which is more a sentimating-musical than an actual account of history. then robert downy junior and mr.law can get their bromance on if they want to. its such a prejudiced generation we deal with. everything has to made according to their specification. cinema bananor khomota nei, ninde korte shomaye noshto korbe na.

fundamentally, i am a piscean. dream all day. so movies for me, are like a can of worms to a fish. they allow me to expand my realm of possibilities and theories. i have seen shit all movies, still taken something back from them. hindi in fact. and bengali, the current ones are not that bad either. i like to see what could happen, even if it shit all. the whole plausibility is not the factor, has never been, as long as things happen, they happen.
i have become apprehensive about what i say these days, started off at the movies, and i brought it home. i don't like this feeling. i don't like checking everything i say before i say it. things that were a past time have become a mine field. one wrong step and kaboom.
i missed the times of no limitations. ei cho cinema jabi, cho cho. ki cinema, dekha jabe. then while coming out, e maa ki jaali cinema. i remem seeing back to back movies. the first more horrific than the last. but i still did it. now i think downloading them and seeing them in the comfort of your own home is the best option. no telephones ringin, other than yours. if that happens, you can atleast pause the bloody thing. you don't have to share your thoughts with other people. you don't get to over hear over committed phrases.

and i hate people who shoot down ideas, its like, " hey how about....." "no". i mean what the fuck. listen toh. and the funny thing is, its them who ask you the questions. absolutely hate it.
i have learnt one thing, when subjected to adverse conditions, the subject in question has two very clear options, erode slowly till the water finally settles on its path, or just wash away with the water. the problem comes when the rock is big.

i wish i could turn back time, and stay in college for ever. i meant something there. i felt as if i belonged. things were simpler. way way more simpler. expectations were at an all time low.

i am afraid i am becoming a push over. and thats like calling me anorexic.