Thursday, March 26, 2009

dilli








i sat at the same garden where i started taking pictures, my uncle would call me mad : i had the camera on me 24x7, tying this that, taking pictures of plants, insects, whatever moved, cast a shadow, had color, untapped beauty. this is where is all started for me, this and the last bit of college. i just have a better camera now, more modes to occupy my mind this time. this visit does feel like a vacation. i dread coming to dilli, i do. its the last place i'd wish to go given a choice, but its nice here... in the campus. i think the weather is that has got me, i expected scorching heat, but i got a nice cool breeze. the kind that requires that light razaai. aah bliss. the best part is that i get to have my morning tea in the garden. that bit i really liked, like. very peaceful-calm-serene. i like :)
i feel happy. which is good. i am taking pictures. which is good. i miss calcutta. which is good. sigh, miss the lil things in life, but you know you have them to fall back on.....aar ektu, then home :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009


Thursday, March 12, 2009

happy frigging birthday

i ain't hatin.....
another year : GONE (poof)
addiction [check]
life [?]
music [check]
confusion [check]
laydh [double-check]
sanity [check-ish]
pain [check]
burden [double-check]
friends [check]
foes [check]
colour [check]

worth it [check]

ah frig it....... life eh!
cheers

Thursday, March 5, 2009

sigh

i haven't taken a picture in a month. a friggin month. haw. that just sank in. its not that i don want to, its just that i haven't got the time (which is bull shit), there's been a lot on my mind : the other house and shit all.
i think i am the barir go-to shrink. heh ondho kana ke poth dekhaye. the lil brother isn't lil anymore, big problems he be causing....apparently that is. spare the rod spoil the child i say. but younger siblings get away with stuff you never got away with..... sometimes you sit and wonder 'if that had been me, in those days, wham, mom would have corrected the obvious'
i don blame her. khoks got her 9 years after. she used up most of her strength on me, did mom. its sad when the mother complains about the lil one, one thing mom always reminded me whenever i was abroad "living the white people life", she would give me the stink eye and say, "barir baire amreekan, bari te pa rakhle bangali..... nahole mere tomba uriye debo", the brother never got the stink eye, all amreekan he has become. i think somehow i am to blame. told him a lot of stuff that he should have learned himself. you never expect your brother to be a complete opposite. don get me wrong, we get along better than ok, its like a constant mind game with him, who's smarter. poor boy will have to wait till i grow old and then he will be finally smarter (or so he'll think). lets just say he's the kind that if you give him an inch, he'll stretch you a mile. its what he is good at, and its what will have against others.
dad's been mumbling like a mad man, its cause khok's don take his shit, a father has to shit right. chete chouko kore daye. bok bok bok bok bok bok. its insane, but entertaining, khok's dosen't pay him heed - the guy like to converse so i indulge him, him be dad and i am the only one who can take his shit. its fun trying to prove dad's wrong (dosen't happen most of the time, but when it does, i don let him forget quickly). its just sad when your mom complains about the desi turned firang lil brother, i admit he was a lil white when he was born, but i thought i had put enough bong in him to sustain the fucking amreekan teens....... but sigh 16 is a bad age in that country... you have to do what you have to survive...... i just hope he dosen't forget where he comes from,else i'll have to beat it into him (not that i mind.... but the dude is taking wrestling lessons and is already volume wise larger).
what a family